LaShara Lashawn

“It’s your responsibiliity to communicate your needs clearly and seriously.”- Mom

My mom is a therapist and she teaches a few classes and I over heard her telling this to her class and it has been on my mind ever since. She has told me this before and I felt like I needed to hear it again. Relecting on my relationships with men, employers, friends and family I know I haven’t done my best with expressing myself. Most of my communication has been non verbal ever since I was a child. I remember times I spoke up but was immediately shut down and I have struggled ever since. I have noticed that many people like to pass the issue off on someone else saying things like “they should already know,” should they? how could they have really known?

In reality we need to make it our mission to take responsibility and ownership over ourselves and how we allow other people to interact and treat us. Speaking for myself I know I need to be more vocal and it is really something I am working on, however I couldn’t commit to this without first addressing what has had me by the throat, fear. I have become affraid of how people would react to my truths and needs. Needs! that hit me over the head hard! You think you know what you need until its time to tell someone. I had to figure this out when I was looking for a new job, most of the time we may want to be the right fit for an employer and meet all their qualifications instead of viewing a career move as a partnership. We both need to gain something and I had to realize that I am of value and I deserve to be somewhere that fits me and who I am. In the same way with relationships, I no longer am the only one being interviewed. Communiction is key, everyone says this however the ability to effectively and seriously execute this had been problematic.

Communication is one of the top reasons for break ups and divorce. I am single but I hope to meet that one who just does it for me. I think I may have met him in the past but I wasnt able to speak my heart. *shrugs* Do you have a person whom you can be 100% honest with? if you dont you have some internal work to do and if you do then you already know of the most freeing feeling in the world. The level of openess is like a tulip field stretching miles long, to me thats true love. No fears holding you back, no secrets to hide behind and no judgements holding you down. No matter what you say or do the love will always prevail. I have challenged myself to do better communicating my needs and reminding myself that fear has no place here.

Basically just say what you need and your expectations in the begining if you don’t you can’t blame the other party. My mom really said something, I wonder if her students are thinking about this days later like I am.