LaShara Lashawn

I have been apart of several conversations where my girlfriends are voicing their frustrations and joys about their relationships. Yet there is this component that seems to be able to regulate the status of the relationship at the time. That component is “social media.” Yes, social media a place where you log in and share just about anything you want with whoever you want, and with people you know and don’t know. The scary thing about it is that just about everyone has joined in.

Social media is used for just about everything and sometimes it can seem larger than life itself. People can get so consumed with it that they began to feel depressed and inadequate. Most people generally post their wins rather than their losses. Therefore making people look to be one way but in reality life might not be going so great. Then on lookers or followers may try to measure themselves against a flawed image. So what happens when your in a relationship and trouble is on the horizon due to an interaction on social media?

I believe it’s important to remember that communication between both parties is key because you can’t control what people say/comment or DM (Direct Message). But you can control what you promote and how you respond. It’s just social media, how important or serious is it anyway? Simply put, what do you use it for?

From what I have seen and experienced personally and professionally people are judged based off of their social media accounts. This may seem unfair and intrusive however most people really are who they present themselves to be on the internet opposed to on their resume or on an interview. Jobs will look you up, people have lost deals due to their social media accounts, parents look up potential sitters on social media and it’s the same in dating.

Social media doesn’t always cause conflict in paradise however there are reports that for some couples to remain happy they believe it’s best to not post every detail of their lives on social media. They also don’t engage a lot in social media but put that energy into their relationship or hobbies, work & family time. What I hear in these articles I read is BALANACE. Maintaining balance, having open communication and setting boundaries with other people make a difference.

Now on the contrary if your going to be a dirt bag or your cheating and creeping, what else would you expect. But what about in the beginning stages? There’s theses special days in the social media world that people participate in such as wcw (woman crush Wednesday), mcm (man crush Monday), tbt (throw back Thursday) just to name a few. On these days people take to social media to post their crushes, love interest and significant others. Not being posted on a significant others social media can cause major conflict. Leaving the person possibly feeling inadequate, like a secret or just plain pissed.

For some people being put on display is validating. It may seem as a way to claim your space in someone’s life maybe similar to holding hands or giving P.D.A. However just because a person is posted doesn’t being nothing foul is happening or will happen. It can be right at that moment you post your significant other that other on looker may want to shoot their shot as well. Hence the SM slide.

Social media is something that we have total control over in respects to our relationships. There are plenty of happy couples who have active accounts on many platforms. Someone who already does things that go against the relationship will probably act the same on social media. With it being a place to connect with others it’s important to remember what’s more important.

Let’s try to respect each other, live in the moment and have fun. Don’t be so consumed that we wake up and check Instagram before saying good morning to the person we’re laying next to. Having dinner with friends and family?? Put the phone down and take in the moment in time. If your in a relationship, be open and clear don’t assume your partner knows your views on interactions on social media.

-Eljay

***check out my podcast Ep. 4 on social media and it’s effects on relationships here: https://anchor.fm/Charmaneswrld***