LaShara Lashawn

The D word sounds good until it’s your turn to deal with it. You may have you’re mind in the gutter but the D word I’m speaking of is DOWNSIZE. This is the process where you make something smaller. As I have gone through life I have had to downsize a few times like eliminating cable, Wi-Fi, no more Mani Pedi and amazing massages throughout the month and the most common, eating out. Myself and many others, maybe not you because your probably filthy rich and just want to see how us small people live. Joking. As I was saying, many of us have had to downsize in some way whether to save money, free up space, smaller home or for better health.

Well this time it’s ALL OF THEE ABOVE, I have downsized a lot with a hope that I will and I will rise up like a damn phoenix out the ashes on they a** better, more amazing, dripping in black girl magic, debt free and on my way. It’s coming. I have moved back home with family, sigh. They say you may have to take some steps back to go a little further. I want to send a shout out to my two good friends that have actually checked on me during this time because this is no cakewalk. If you are able and need to do this I suggest giving it some serious thought because it can really be what you need. Living in the Bay Area is no joke, its expensive and it will eat you up if you let it. So the day came I put all my big items in storage and moved from one city to another and across a bridge to start my new smaller life in the midst of a pandemic, great!

Just like that things got real. Having a plan is key if you don’t have one, get one. Sit down with yourself first and think about what you want, give yourself a time line, budget, set limits, boundaries and write it down. Discipline is key. Talking it over with someone you absolutely trust is a help because they may see things about you that you didn’t realize. My downsize isn’t just about space (though its a huge difference), I downsized spending, time with friends, mental space for things that were not conducive to who I am or who I am working to be, guy friends, poor eating and partying was cut amid pandemic (yet Iv had a great time). Iv had to let a lot of things go even the self-care dates, Iv found cheaper ways to do them. Learning the importance of working hard, saving and minding my own business are at the forefront of my mind daily. I am on a hustle and a mission.

Now I’d love to share some tips on how to get the most out of small spaces and showing you vacuum sealed clothes bags and how I made the most out of a closet space but this isn’t that blog today. Downsizing of this magnitude wasn’t as difficult or tedious as I had thought being that I had good support. I spoke to my main supporters and explained to them my goals and how they could support me and it was on from there. What I wasn’t all that pre pared for where the waves of questioning or uncertainty that would follow. For two weeks I even felt depressed, eating any and everything, unmotivated and apathetic. I wanted OUT! I was over it and I felt that I might of been better off where I was, back in the struggle but on my own, in my own. I see the reason why people wont cut back because this is kinda hard, we place a high value on independence and personal space and freedom. Though I have “come back home” I am still a grown woman and an adult and I carry myself as such, thats the difference between being a couch bumb at your parents and an adult child trying to get their ducks in a row. This is a major cut back, Iv completely uprooted myself like a plant in a new pot and space and I’m expecting to grow.

Though I have downsized, I have actually expanded as well. I started a business, I met new people, and my credit score went up!! Iv paid some things off and I’m so grateful. Do NOT let anyone ever make you feel bad for a decision you have made to better yourself! I say that from the heart because it happened to me, someone I thought cared about me, said it! It did hurt my feelings but it made me annoyed and it lit the biggest fire in me. Cleary that person did not know what they were saying and didn’t know me well at all. Downsizing is not the end of the world it can be the beginning of something amazing, something so big you wont have enough room to receive it!! If you find yourself in my position, you’re going to be okay. Keep pushing forward, remember your “WHY” and keep smiling. When things get uncomfortable and they will just know it’s for a reason. Mentally its a battle, you want things, you want to go places, you miss what you have had before and you have to be strong enough to wait, to pass, to say I cant right now, I need to go home etc.

I had been on my own nearly a decade, and now my niece and nephew wake me up in the mornings! I love that because I wouldn’t get this chance to spend with family to bond and lean on each other had I not made this decision. I am beyond blessed for this time and I will use it wisely. Don’t be afraid of the D word! It’s kinda like the first time it feels uncomfortable but then it feels good!! 🙂 lol