LaShara Lashawn

    It has certainly been pretty busy for me but at the same time I feel like I haven’t done much at all. Where is all my time going? but yet I am super exhausted. I am forgetting the most simple task at work and I don’t have the drive to do things that come so easy to me. Something certainly is wrong. When I look at myself I see the same person maybe a few more pimples but still the same, I’m smiling for the most part, so I must be fine. At times I can’t tell if I’m coming or going to be honest.

   It wasnt until I was at work and I was dealing with a family’s case that I completely dropped the ball on. I had a dead line to meet as well.( OOooo that sounded so adultish. “deadline”)  I needed some help with the case but I couldn’t get out of my chair to ask. Right then I put my face in my hands and felt tears swell up behind my eyes. It was right then something clicked,  I said two things to myself  “girl you are at your desk at work you can’t cry here!” and “I’m crying, I must be overwhelmed.” For some people it may not happen like that, it can be an emergency trip to the ER from stress or even a heart attack.

The feeling of being overwhelmed isn’t always something others can see. I mean only you will know ultimately when too much is too much. I never proclaim to be some supper “I can do it all” type of lady however I have come to understand that most people will assume that I have it together. Which means that most will ask for my assistance, then finding out if I actually need some myself.  According to the Merriam dictionary to be overwhelmed is to be buried or drown beneath a huge mass. Certainly at the moment at my desk I felt as if I was drowning. Every time I looked there was another email, another request another deadline not to mention my personal life with bills, bills, events, trips and events being planned. Not to mention but I’m dating also.

There are always signs that you maybe feeling overwhelmed before you have an emotional break or worse such as:

1. Headaches
2. Withdrawing
3. Being a Jerk
4. Not keeping up with dates and deadlines
5. Not keeping a well-kept appearance
6. Negative self talk

When I had my moment at my desk I excused myself to the ladies room. I didn’t cry, but oh how I really wanted to. Actually I never cried at all, not even when I got in my car on the way home. I guess I knew where I was at mentally and decided right in the 2nd stall that I needed to fix this and tears certainly wasnt going to help me at all. Now if you need to cry, go right on ahead and get it out by all means. When you are done clean yourself up, hold your head high and create a game plan. I believe that when you accept where you are it is easier to get a grasp on things.

Most would say get a planner or a calendar but that is part of the problem!!! You get the planner and then you fill it up with events, dates, promises and you forget the most important component which is time for yourself.  We only have 24hrs in a day, with only 7 days in a week but keep in mind that everyone’s 24hrs is not the same. I have heard the saying that we all have the same 24hrs as **inserts big celeb name** Ummm NO I DONT!. That celeb has more money and probably less immediate obligations that may not require the same redundancy as mine. However my God-given 24hrs is mine and mine only to decide how in which I will maximize it. So lets learn to maximize our time in the best way that fits us.

When feeling like it’s all a little too much here are some things you should try:

1. Getting more sleep.  Getting to bed earlier.
2. Planning out your day/week. Setting tangible goals.
3. Exercising. Taking a walk on your breaks.
4. Picking up a hobby
5. If it’s in the budget gift yourself something small but meaningful.
6. Pray/ Meditate.

Feeling like it may all be a little too much isn’t always a super bad thing it may be that overwhelming feeling that pushes you a little more to reach an even more rewarding end goal. When I feel overwhelmed I always find it helpful to take some deep breaths, take a look at what’s in front of me and designate what’s priority and tackle that. When it comes to work where we have deadlines it will help to communicate with a colleague or management about what may not be accomplished by a certain time. You may find that the deadline you thought you had to meet was only a soft deadline or that there was someone else who may be able to help you or take over. There is nothing wrong with asking for help.

Okay, you may be saying to yourself ” I never ask for help I always get it all done some how.” That may be true in most cases however in life we need each other and it’s good to have someone in your life that you can share things with. Please never get so overwhelmed to where you may consider harming yourself. You are far more important than any social obligation, event, deadline or redundant task. Times like this will come, especially as we begin to grow our families, get promoted and expand business. All of which will require more of our time. The key is knowing how to manage it along with our personal lives and time for self-care.

I want to be the best me possible and I know I am not that when I’m feeling overwhelmed. Recognizing this emotion isn’t bad and it doesn’t mean that I can’t do something it means I probably can’t do it all at this moment. Iv had to learn to say “No” recently. I always want to help and be apart of things. This may sound like someone out there. I would look at my planner and see that Iv over committed myself and would feel instant anxiety. Why would I keep doing this to myself?? All so someone else could be happy.

Yes. Seeing someone else happy is fulfilling but seeing someone happy at the expense of your mental health and well-being isn’t always a good idea. I’m sure someone would rather you say no then say yes and you not be at your best. I’m not 100% every day however I try to be. I listen to daily devotionals, positive music, drink tea and lots of water, I enjoy walking on my breaks at work and even reading helps. These activities seem to take me out of my current space especially when I walk and read. I am able to focus my attention on something else. I highly recommend this.

Take good care of yourself, that’s the best thing you can do for people who love you.