LaShara Lashawn

“Oh… yea, shes in her late 20’s.” As I heard someone say this as a child I was like “what the heck age is that!?.” Why don’t you just say her age!!!? Welp I woke up recently and thought, Oh damn that’s me! I’m her, the lady in her late 20’s. Late 20’s, let that sink in. Whats crazy is that I feel like I’m late in some areas of my life and now I’m at this point that feels something like an apathetic scramble to make something happen. I care but I don’t care. It’s like I’m running but getting no where fast.

On a daily basis we are bombarded with information and images. Heavily exposed to things that most times we could do with out. Some of the information causing secondary trauma, which is why when I see another posting about a murder or police brutality I don’t watch them. It’s a sad thing but it does nothing good for me mentally. I think Iv become more apprehensive and scared of traffic stops in the last 2 years than I ever have been in my life. You can easily loose your life over a broken tail light. I’m good off that.

At some point throughout my day I give probably an unnecessary amount of time to my social media. I’m kinda like a troll most times. It is hard not to look at the people I follow ( I cant sand that term)/ keep up with, and measure myself to them. There are some and I’m like damn what have you been doing with yourself? and other I’m like yaaasss keep it up and then there’s the group that makes me think, dang girl get your self together. At times I feel stuck because my finances are as plentiful as Id like and I’m in my late 20’s remember!!! Its like go back to school for my MSW/MFT and be a stressed book worm again, blow my coins traveling or start a family. Oh lets not forget about that clock that’s ticking as well!!! I want to do it all but where to start and in what order?

I was in a conversation recently about a home buying  process and I was complimented on my knowledge of the process. I wanted to pop my collar a little bit but I just smiled. The fact is that I will be a home owner so Iv educated my self, not to mention with my time at the bank I was able to connect with a lot of people. My future is all I think of and sometimes I wonder if I’m doing enough. I don’t want to look up and be 50+ highlighting your Walmart receipts! I just wont have it. So Iv decided to get my ducks in line.

I used to want my life to be like Carri from Sex and the City! that’s funny now. I was looking up pajamas and found myself looking at lingerie. I just started taking an interest in that! But the whole time I’m looking through the items, I’m thinking why don’t I wear this type of stuff? This is what grown women wear right?? Again here I am like girl come on now get it together! I didn’t buy anything, maybe next pay check. My pink and grey puppy pajamas are comfy anyway.

What does this mean, being in my late 20’s? All I feel is a slight uncertainty, excitement and frustration. That’s a weird combo but those are my true feelings. Being a few steps from 30 I’m just trying to have an open mind and embrace whats to come. Iv always said that after 30 I’m trying live it up, in a responsible way though. But I’m not there yet even though I’m older I still feel like I shouldn’t sit at the grown folks table and If I do I just be quite and listen. Lately Iv been blessed with the chance to be surrounded by such great women who are full of wisdom. These moments I just soak up all the information possible, it’s like they affirm me as a women, they let me know my concerns and thoughts are valid. If your a woman, get you some older sound minded women to surround yourself with, it will bless you.

So being in my late 20’s is just that, an older 20 year old.  There are some things I wouldn’t do now that Iv done before. Now as I get ready to venture into another chapter of my life I just want to be happy. For a second I thought I was having a mid life crisis but Im good, just trying to get things in perspective. I do see that I can obtain all my aspirations and that no matter the age its still a great accomplishment ( I seen a quote about that one IG). So I guess I still have time to be Carrie because she was over 30 and bad ass, even she had bad moments where she didn’t get it just right. There are somethings I haven’t quite got the hang of so please excuse me, Im late.