LaShara Lashawn

This morning I woke up feeling like “the man when I walk through.” This title is inspired by Hot Atlanta Rap trio, Migos feat Drake. The song came on this morning during my morning commute to work. I was texting (illegal in Ca.)… it was important, and I’m a pro.  So anyway as I’m texting and scanning for the law I’m telling my friend about how I actually lost 2lbs.  You may be thinking…. okay, its 2lbs whoopie! Well I have created this 60days of fitness and I’m kicking all kinds of butt. I’m on week 4 and Iv lost 6lbs so far and looking to loose another 2 this week.

I have been on this journey to loose my love/ relationship weight for a while now. When his bags were packed, everything was rearranged and the dust settled I was over 200lbs. I have been in the 150-160lbs range for forever so this was a real shock. Now besides my awesome healthy life style journey I came across a quote that said “Create the Life you Deserve” and this really made a big impact on me! I am noticing how aware I have become, I pay close attention to my spending, I am adamant that I pay off debts,I think about my future family, retirement, air travel deals and recently I am more concerned about who may be watching me.

Now this is great but it can feel like an added weight. I represent myself, my family, job, my faith and that all means so much to me. Where I worship I teach children’s church every other Sunday. I absolutely love it, I have been gaining a better relationship with God and I understand that people are watching me and so are the little eyes that I teach. When I go places I think would this be something representative of who I am or am trying to be. Iv learned that being young and a believer doesn’t make me perfect and it shouldn’t take away from who I am as a person. I just want to walk it like I talk it.

   I want to create the life I deserve. That means I must take control, I must be more disciplined, I must be willing to take risk and I must be comfortable with being direct and sometimes saying no. Most of all I am learning “what is it that I truly deserve?”  For a while I didn’t think I deserved to teach myself to simple things like a pair of shoes or to be swept off my feet. I just took whatever I got and rolled with the punches. I had and apathetic view of myself and where I fit in this world. Just saying that phrase is so affirming! I feel so strong, powerful and in control. I have been doing well with spending and paying bills, from looking at the past 2 pay periods so I am able to see that I can save and manage my money. But aside from finances which doesn’t measure my total happiness, I want to fill it with so much more things that are beautiful and long lasting memories.