Have you ever met a person male or female or whatever type of human you’s into these days and you just couldn’t. Like you couldn’t and wouldn’t get with this person and they could have been very attractive but it was just something that wouldn’t allow you to hit that home run.
That something… lets explore that. I used to you that to somehow explain how I felt about a situation. It wasn’t until I was talking with a really close friend that I was able to be honest about why I wouldn’t get with this certain someone ever again.
Yes. I said ever again as in there was a time, well times before but that’s neither here nor there. In the times before things were different. I was younger, it was exciting, he was slimmer, I wasn’t as knowledgeable as I am now (take that how you want) and it just aint the same. We tried to get in the mood before and it started great, He had been texting and calling consistently but not getting on my nerves and I was like “hey he’s still a good dude so why not!” (*Kanye shrug). If you are not familiar with the Kayne shrug, google it or re read the sentence then after you read “..why not” shrug your shoulder with your hands out.
Okay anyway, we go on a date. He picks me up, the brotha is ON TIME! we sit down, order food, we talkin, #issavibe, its going good. Then he scoots his chair over closer to me and my anxiety went through the roof. Whats going on here? Why is he so close? not to mention I’m still eating. He’s trying to look into my eyes and what not and I’m just ready to go and calling for our server in my head. I have never felt so frigid in my life. My mind went to the end of the date, the short recap of the night, will he lean in for a kiss, will he ask to walk me to my door then try to come in, what if he comes in but I’m ready for him to leave. At this point there is a knot in my throat so big I don’t know what to do.
What I really did was just freeze up. The night ended. There at the table. Before the check came.Cold.
LaShara Lashawn 
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