LaShara Lashawn

This has been the most pressing question for the past 6 months in my life. You are free to do as you want, when you want, how you want and to just about who you want, but when is it okay? My mom always told me there is a time and place for everything and she was right. This question is most important in my personal relationships.

I am not a 100% ready to get back in the dating game as some would say, I still have some loose ends to clean up first but I have met some interesting people. Along the way I have found myself trapped in between my hormones, my beliefs and standards and the right things to do. Iv felt like I was literally in a corner with all of theses things caving in on me. My mom didn’t tell me about this part in my life, or maybe I wasn’t listening.

I totally realize that it is just simply not smart to just throw the whole shaBANG on someone about what you “Aint GONE do” and what you demand. If you’re trying to scare someone away then be my guest. Iv learned that its best to give it to them in doses, a little here and there to see how they react to it. Everyone wont understand what my goal is but it is my hope that they will respect it and if they can’t then no hard feelings at all and it probably is not meant to be after all. It is good to find out in the beginning before you have given them something that you cant take back.

Recently I was having a conversation with someone on KISSING, yes kissing!! something that seems so small and harmless has a time and place as well. Kissing is very serious and if some looked at kissing like I do now it may encourage them to slow things all the way down with the one their dating. Imagine if you were seeing someone for a few weeks and you get caught in corner like I described earlier and you gave in with a kiss and some playful touching? Night over, you get and “I made it home text” and then a few days later you see that person out at the movies getting cuddly with someone else? how would that make you feel? Probably nothing close to how you would feel if you found 20.00 on the ground. 

Conversation is everything and when intimacy comes up be an adult, be realistic and be clear. I know there are different types of kisses, 39 roughly  (link below) but I think you know what I mean. It’s up to you to figure out what type is acceptable, maybe this is something you and your “friend” can talk about. I say “friend” (air quotes) because for some its okay to kiss when your, EXCLUSIVE or after so many dates/months/weeks or just when it “feels” right. It’s very interesting that I have started to pay more attention to other aspects of dating since Iv made my commitment, I guess I just want to do things better. I gave the example of kissing but please feel free to add in  other things and really think about it. This will help you build standards for yourself when dating.

i.e When is (meeting parents, kissing, meeting kids, spending the night etc.) okay?

39 types of kisses: http://listsurge.com/39-different-types-kisses-meaning-pictures/