LaShara Lashawn

Iv come to learn that in many families it can be considered rude to throw away food you don’t want, or better known as being wasteful. In some black homes you may hear ” dont waste that food there are starving kids in Africa” being shouted if a adult catches someone throwing away perfectly good food. Despite the fact, that it may be the nastiest thing ever made in life. Now as an adult I’v come to face another horror, knowing when I have to much on my plate and not knowing what to do. As  a child I have come to learn ways to avoid the lectures from throwing away food but now I seem to fear the thought of clearing my plate because I would feel like I have given up.

As the years pass I have acquired more talents, more knowledge, and gained more responsibility. It was once important to me that I make time for any and every thing, but to my sudden surprise that life style and way of living had become more stressful. For some reason I thought being an ADULT ment being busy…..Oh was I wrong. Life is somewhat like a buffet with a host of selections to fit on your plate and everyone has free choice to get what they would like but the interesting thing is that what the person gets all depends on them, who they are, their life choices and even their financial status.  In this life buffet everyone gets a plate and its open 24 hours a day 7 days a week. So its really up to you on what you do with your 24 hours.

Some people can afford to stack their plates high and enjoy it and even have some left over to give to those who cant afford to get much on their plate. Their plate may be broken or not as durable to hold every thing they want. Then there are those whose eyes are way to big for their stomachs. Every know and then this buffet gets crazy, people sometimes fight, people die, then there are those who cant bare to just wait their turn or are to lazy to wait their turn and attempt to take whats on others plates.

Then there are the people like me, my eyes can be too big for my stomach, but im not able to afford everything like the rich folks who can donate to others all the time but if Im able I will. In fact I love to help others, sometimes sitting my plate down to help others get what they needed. Im grabbing forks, spoons, napkins and waters for them when Im hungry myself. (Im hungry right now, tacos are on the menu!!!! :)) My plate would get very full and be spilling over, Id be dropping things that are really important that would help me further along in my career and putting unhealthy things on my plate that I don’t need, causing stress and emotional pain. It took time for me to realize that as long as I woke up every day all those things I loved would be there. I also learned that it was okay to throw things away that I didn’t need and that I could actually go back for more once I finished with one thing (project or goal) and got something else that I wanted to try. Id fear that someone, (whoever that was) would look at me some type of way, like I gave up and that I wasn’t strong enough to hold it all down.

Keeping all those things on my plate was doing more harm than good. Id be tired, drained, frustrated and stressed all because I had so much on my plate that I couldnt enjoy the things that I loved the most. There were times that people passed me up or took things off my plate but I now understand that, that is okay. This is my plate and I determine what will go and what will stay. I began to make sure I include more healthy things on my plate such as prayer and meditation. If a time comes when my plate is getting to heavy I’m not afraid to stop and reevaluate my life and throw some things away or but them back for later. While at the buffet Iv met some interesting people, good friends and family who Iv leaned on when I couldn’t figure it out or when I needed help on how to keep control of my plate. So my question to you is, whats on your plate and is it too much?

There will be folks who want to know whats on your plate, they will talk about what they feel you should have or shouldn’t have and thats fine because this is your plate and your main concern. Iv encountered that as well and the things they say may hurt, may sting and even make you wanna cry but you must stay focused. If you know you can only lift 12 lbs why lift 75 lbs and hurt yourself all because someone else said you should, when they can only life 10 lbs themselves. Even if they could lift more, you know you can only lift 15 lbs and if you wish to be on that level easy up to it. Don’t strain yourself  don’t stack your plate too high don’t take on too much and don’t be afraid to remove things or people or to even try new things, it’s okay. I wish someone had told me all this before but thats another blog.

One thing that was impressed upon me was that I was a female and that I had to be the best, that I needed to work hard and be independent amongst other things. As a young woman of color I feel that we are sometimes confined to traditions, gender roles and unrealistic expectations. It is important that we strive to grow and find that balance and to uplift others. I put a strong effort in making sure that there is a balance sometimes I’m effective and other times not so much but, I try.

Please share with me how over loading in your life has affected you and any tips you can share on how to balance would be great.